Lessons from a Creativity Coach

This post was graciously and generously submitted by a dear friend and creativity coach Kathy Kane. Kathy's company Kane Creative Consulting helps individuals find a creative pathway to goal attainment. I've included the link to Kathy's blog. http://www.kanecreativeconsulting.com/CreativeCompass/

Thanks Kathy.
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Recently, I bought a book on creativity. The book was written almost 100 years ago. While struggling with an outdated style of prose I realized that these ideas were not new to me. They were probably not new then. They were truths that I see and hear often; that I know to be true; that I need to hear again and again. Lessons in creative courage.

Everywhere I look there are lessons. Some have come late; some were at my mother’s knee; some are being fired at me daily. Sometimes I have my Teflon shield up, playing Clueless Woman and letting the good stuff fall all around me. Other times, however, I get brave. I let my guard down and listen. Really, that’s the only way we really learn - with our eyes and hearts wide open. It takes courage and a small dose of humility. At least that’s how it is for me.

Henri Estienne said, “If youth knew; if age could”. What a lot of time wasted in between! Maybe the most important lesson is to look for the lesson; recognize the value in someone else’s story, know we don’t have to reinvent the wheel although we can certainly modify it to fit our journey. This is where we need that courage to open up to those lessons we hear over and over again; to see the lessons of those who went before. That’s where we could use a little of that humility to accept the fact that we don’t know it all and, as a matter of fact, we don’t have to!

As a recovering perfectionist I know just how tough it can be to take in those lessons. The lesson that says I can accept less than perfect from myself; maybe even small and crappy. The lesson that says I can continue to learn and that it’s actually fun; the lesson that shows me how to move toward my creative goals a minute at a time. I can listen to those who have struggled before me and realize that, okay, here’s another wheel I don’t have to reinvent. I can observe the joy of those who are sharing their story, who speak in the hope that I am listening and learning. I scrunch up my courage and jump in knowing the net will appear and changing my life in the process. All lessons I would have missed had I stayed wrapped up in the idea that I already knew it all.

Maybe I will pull out those water colors and leaf through a painting book and see how I might get back to something I put down years ago; something I avoided because I didn’t have the time to do it perfectly. I’ll take the teleclass in photography and, while my photos won’t be as wonderful as some of the others, perhaps I’ll develop a new way of seeing in the process. I’ll pay attention, drink in the lessons that are out there in the creative world of which we are all citizens. I’ll stay present and aware and let the lessons seep into my cells until they become a part of me. Maybe I’ll go back and revisit some of the lessons my mother taught me, too. I bet I’ve heard them a few times, too.

Is Fear anything more than False Events Appearing Real?? Seriously!!

Recently I met with two fellow writers. Although I look forward to our regular meetings, I was worried, I confessed. "Why?" they questioned. When I tried to bare my legitimate fear to these dear friends, they responded with scoffs and laughter. Friends did I say?

Then one woman put things in perspective for me. She said, "You know, it's like you're planning a road trip from New York to California, and you're already worried about where you're gonna have lunch in New Mexico. Except, you have not even left your driveway. In New York."

She was right!! I was worried about how I was going to market a book that I had not even finished writing. Now don't get me wrong. It's not that I shouldn't be thinking about marketing... of course I should. Thinking and planning... yes... but certainly not worrying?!! And talk about worrying to the point of paralysis... fuhgeddaboudit!

But many of us worry... and therein lies our fear. My fear? That my book might not sell. Yes, I told you... still in the driveway. (It's okay, you may laugh.) What is going on with this thing called fear? I spoke with some women who are extremely accomplished, and here's what one woman had to say on the subject:

"What are you afraid of? Afraid someone won't like you? Afraid someone will tell you no? Afraid someone will laugh at you? Afraid you'll fall on your face? So what? Huh... ? So what? Do it anyway. You don't get the job you want... go for another job! or go after the same job again! You don't get the house you want... go after another house! What are you afraid of??"

She is right, "So what?" And so here's what I wish I'd known... Most people won't laugh, but maybe one or two might. If you fall down, someone will definitely help you up. However, if you get told "no", so what? It certainly won't be the end of the world. So what are we afraid of?
What are the dreams we dared not try? What are the careers we did not pursue "because we are too old"? So what?

I read that Sojourner Truth was the first black woman to sue a white man (her former slave-owner) in court and win. This was in the 1820s y'all. A woman/former slave went up in what we can assume was a court with a white judge, white lawyers, and if necessary, white jurors, in a system definitely designed to favor the white citizen.... to sue her former owner who was white. Was she afraid? Maybe... but so what? She sued. And won!!

So here's my lesson ... the lesson I've learned and the thing I wish I'd known. Why we choose fear? I don't really know... but so many of us do. And I don't know why we worry about New Mexico, when we're still sitting in the driveway in New York. But that's our choice. However, I encourage you, don't let the fear stop your plans and deny your dreams. Don't freeze because you fear. Trust me... don't.

So what? so you miss the mark the first time... so what? So do it again! So what... if you go back to school now you'll be 40 or even 50, by the time you graduate... so what? You'll be 40 or 50 anyway, right? And so what ... you'll be nervous as all get out the first time you do something new... so what? Do it anyway.

Believe me when I tell you the more you do it... the less fear you'll have. So I encourage you to just do it anyway. You don't believe me? Check this out... think about a time - one time you dared to do something even though you felt afraid. You want to tell me about it? I would love to hear how you said "So what?"

Talk to me!! and thanks to my writer-friends.