Should women play down their humph?

What could these women possibly have in common?

You've probably recognized they are (l-r): Lucy Stone, Sojourner Truth, Indira Gandhi, Billie Holliday, and Queen Nanny of the Maroons




Lucy Stone was born on August 13, 1818 and although she lived nearly 200 years ago, she would certainly be called a pioneer in her own time.

Women were mere shadows of the men in their lives and yet Stone spoke up for women’s rights and spoke out against slavery when women were chastised for speaking publicly. (Remember, women had not yet earned the right to vote.) In 1839 she funded her own education and became the first woman in Massachusetts to earn a college degree, and even became the first person in New England to be cremated. She's remembered most for being the first woman in the United States to keep her own name after marriage. (Heresy?? OMG!!) A force with whom to be reckoned, I’d say!! Yet, she's hardly the first or the only pioneer.

When I first read about Ms. Stone, I thought about other women who knew their worth and fought for the worth of other women. Women like Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Nanny of the Maroons, and others on whose shoulders we stand.

When I think about the workplace of tomorrow, I compare it to the workplace I think exists today and I wonder what will the children find? How will your daughters and nieces have to behave? Will you be able to fit in… those of you who choose to return? And then my mind starts its rapid stroll down the corridors of centuries past and I think about women who were giants of their time. How did they dare to be so? How did Lucy dare to defy her father and get an education when women were expected to be unschooled wives? or as one man put it... "glorified maids". Where did Sojourner Truth get the chutzpah to demand of her unwitting audience, “Aren’t I a woman?”

Women in the workplace encounter obstacles and make sacrifices just like their predecessors did… sacrifices that are different and some that are the same. One that got my attention was the idea of playing down their success… their achievements… so others around them might feel comfortable. What do I mean? Well consider this…

You’ve had close friends since elementary school and somehow (really through hardwork, preparation, and focus) you’ve achieved stellar success while their achievements could be described as tepid. Imagine being with your friends and forcing yourself to not always pay for dinner, although you can, if by repeatedly doing so you cause your friends to question their value. Imagine recognizing that you can’t always share all your accomplishments, if news of your steady success will somehow cause others to feel less worthy. Imagine realizing that you cannot always be the one with the answers if by doing so it will make others feel less accomplished. It is in these instances that some women have learned to play down their achievements and mute some of the roar of their success.

Is this lack of confidence? Or is this an example of brilliant women demonstrating a keen understanding of their environment, high sensitivity, and a lot of savvy?



Can't wait to read your comments.

Be Still and Listen.... 聽

Someone once said that God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we could listen twice as much as we speak. Hmmm… there’s something here. Just imagine the things we might hear.

Maybe we would hear the early morning birds waking up their families… and chattering as they get ready to face their day, or maybe we would hear how others really feel about us. For sure we would hear the gossipmongers and the chatterboxes, the rumors and the scandals, and we would hear pain and hope, suffering and joy. We would certainly hear the well-meaning words that others are saying to us… but we would also hear the words they are unwilling to voice. Say what???

Some years ago, I heard a speaker whose message stayed with me long after her name faded in the crowded corridors of my memory. Part of that message pointed out that traditional Chinese character for the verb to listen compounds the characters for ears, eyes, undivided attention and heart - 聽. Now isn't that something?

Does this mean the old folks used to practice being still in order to listen with their ears, their eyes, as well as their heart? Hmmm… we could learn something from those folks.

So what does that have to do with lessons and success? Consider this…

Listen to the wisdom around you. Even though you may not like the way the messenger looks or speaks, if given the opportunity, pay attention to the message. Listen! Even when it seems obscene or futile to give ear to the leader whose ideologies are different from our own… after all, he must be an idiot if he’s from another political party… and we are (of course), the brightest minds around. Listen! Even though your parents were born in another century (dinosaurs), they may have an ounce of intellect or street corner common sense, and that ounce may be just the measure needed to save your life. Listen! Even when it’s impossible to believe that the relic of a manager could possibly be able to add anything of value to a 20-something's vast years of experience. Still listen! It is easier to believe that the ideas that worked yesterday could not possibly be relevant today. Yes, it is easier... but often untrue.

It is here that I offer a tip for achieving success in the workplace, which is that we honor and listen to the organizational wisdom around us. Listen to the generations that have earned success, they have knowledge to share. Listen to the people who’ve had longevity in business. They may know something about the way things get done. Listen to those who’ve been making strides before you. They probably know a thing or two about a thing or two.

And as you listen to the wisdom around you… listen to your internal voice. Whether your internal voice is for you - God, or your gut... take a moment and listen you may be amazed at what you hear.

I know an exceptional listener Bernadette Glover, who in my opinion has mastered the skill of listening with her ears, her eyes, her heart and her undivided attention. She published a book entitled, Whispers Overheard in which she reveals the sounds and utterance of words she's come to hear... or overhear. It goes to show the possibilities when we stop to listen. For when we listen, we open ourselves to understanding a larger truth. When we listen, we learn to navigate the winding walkways of the workplace and strut with certainty to take advantage of the choices that are ahead of us.

Beyonce’s character in Dream Girls struck a nerve as she belted out in gut-wrenching plea to be heard, when she sang the song Listen. If I could, I would play this song with you in mind...

I wonder what you will hear when you listen??