Ever had an experience and found it rife with so many hills, valleys, cobwebs, and rocky places? So much so that you wished someone had given you advice to take a different route, or be authentic, set your priorities, say a different word, choose a different career, lose that friend and keep this friend, accept a job, speak your mind, hold your tongue...? Advice you think might have led you to live a more exalted life.
Part of the joy of life... the experience of living... emerges from the opportunity to carve our own road and learn from our own mistakes, but let's not kid ourselves... sometimes, as we look back we wish we'd known then what we now know.
This is especially true in the world of work. "If only I'd gotten (or heard) that piece of advice, I could have saved so much time/heartache/headache/yada-yada-yada... or lived more authentically"
A year ago I completed a research of corporate leaders and stumbled accidentally on a brilliant 'a-ha' when I asked them to reflect on their life. So now I want to broaden my audience and ask you this question...
As you look back on the journey of your work life, what do you wish you had been told? (what advice do you wish you'd been given?)
I hope you will post your thoughtful responses on this blog. Thank you...
I wish i had been encouraged to deepen my study in Spanish. I was good at this language... still have a good accent, however, I let it lag... not recognizing the full benefit of a foreign language.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I wish i have been told was that sports is gateway for a free education.
ReplyDeleteI started playing Tennis at age 12, and became fairly good at it. Never was I encourage to look at the sport as more than a recreation activity, so as I got older, I see sports being used not only as a gateway to education, but also one can make a career of it.
I wish I had known two things:
ReplyDelete1) A mentor is a critical resource --
sounding board, reality check, advisor...I
have never had a formal mentoring
relationship. I have been on my
own...successful sometimes, "flailing and
floundering" at others...I wish I had
known that it's OK to ask for help.
2) I wish I had known that time (seems to)
move more quickly as you get older...the
things that you thought you would "get to"
don't necessarily happen -- like pursuing
a Doctoral degree...way to go Denise!!
I wish I had known that some of those
other (what seemed to be critical at the
time) priorities would be mere "schrapnel"
in my journey of life, and that achieving
that level of higher education could have
been an "anchor" and could provide a
range of options that could enable a
less "trapped" lifestyle...
This blog is not big enough to list the "Do Overs" that I'd wish for,so I'll give you the biggie:
ReplyDelete++++++ (1)COMPLETING WHAT I STARTED +++++++++
I always came out of the gate hard & determined, but with little focus...so I eventually fizzeled out. Then I'd start something else and end up with the same results...so on & so on. Now at the tender young age of 53, I find myself starting a new venture,this time I'm coming out of the gate gradually.With focus, determination and this time Passion. This I will COMPLETE !!! Whats different this time?(you asked) I AM !!!! xoxoxo
Hmmmm - tho i'm pretty ok with how things turned out, there are lots of things i wish i'd known when i was young that would have served me better today:
ReplyDelete1) i wish i'd done spanish instead of french. picking a language in high school because it sounds good is not great criteria for doing it. i could make so much use of spanish now. how often do i get to france?
2) i wish i had understood the value and importance of public speaking at an early age and been able hone some skills. i know that they say that it's everyone's worse fear, but i really had to work on it in a massive way in college to become reasonably successful in my jobs after college. it is still a challenge on occasion...
I'd wish I had known how much the finacial field would be constantly changing, new systems, new programs,new reporting etc. I would have majored in Math or Elementary Education in College or at leastgo back to school and majored in one of the newer professions in the past few years.
ReplyDeleteHow amazing this question should pop up again as I have once again given professional advice to another rising star. There are probably two hard core learnings I should have stuck with. First, do what you want. If you want to write, WRITE! If you want to be a broadcaster, be a BROADCASTER! Don't settle for the job that pays you the money just for the sake of having money. No matter how poor you are, it is better to satify your professional cravings than to live day to day with "I am going to do that one day when I have the time." Second, when at a company, yes you want to do a great job and be a shining star but don't be a mule who functions by the perverbial "dangling carrot." Often companies are aware that you are an excellent asset to the company but want to save their nickels and dimes. To do so they will make you empty promises i.e. Just do this for us and we will give you that raise and promotion. This can go on until you have the sense to say enough but then your time is wasted and they are still dangling a carrot. If a company is not willing to pay you what you are worth..MOVE ON IMMEDIATELY and don't turn back. Presently I am glad I have finally arrived at being paid what I am worth (although I will always want more), however, I just should have done it years ago!
ReplyDeleteIf ever you should seek a partner, or partners, for a business venture, first look to their potential contribution in creating synergy; exclude your friends, however qualified. Friendship is better made with a business-partner, as opposed to a viable business-partnership with a friend.
ReplyDeleteAfter working in the same institution for almost 20 years, I have discovered, rather late, the importance of not staying in the same position for more than 2, 3 or 5 years. I should have had a plan , a strategy to move around the institution in order to gain varied experience. It was critical to have a strategy at the beginning of my career there. The result, 20 years later, is that I have had a number of jobs but not really a career.
ReplyDeleteThere are several things I wished I'd known, but one of the most significant is "never be afraid to ask". I had always thought that with hard work and dedication you would be rewarded. However, often this is not the case and you wind up more diappointed than not. One day a mentor of mine, who was outside my company, encouraged me to return to college with the assistance of my firm. I approached my superiors with this desire and they agreed to support me. The moral here is that you cannot wait around for your superiors to decide your future or try to predict what you may be seeking to accomplish--you need to do the driving.
ReplyDeleteI cant honestly think of anything more I would have liked to be told. Am extremely grateful for the way that events and experiences in my life has been unfolded. Perhaps the best way for me to answer this question is to say what would be a few of the key things I tell my children.
ReplyDeleteKeep looking forward as you work towards your goal. Hindsight has little significance unless complemented by robust determinism. Earnestly seek God's will for your life - praying every morning that his will be done, and live each day believing that it is.
I have not regretted my career choice. I had a good mentor. I had a relatively easy road completing the requisites. I had financial resources available to me to complete my education in this field. I have been in this field for 25 years and my rewards are noted in the clientele that I serve. My regrets to date are that I have not taken advantage of or have not pursued varied avenues in making this career choice more lucrative. I love what I do.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I wish I had learned earlier is that the phrase, "It's not what but who you know" is not merely a cliché. Building relationships is essential to success in any career. Knowing the key players and developing solid working relationships has benefited me as much as my technical competency. Good relationships with "superiors" opened opportunities for learning and growth and offered protection when decisions regarding staff reduction have to be made. Good relationships with peers and direct reports fostered loyalty and cooperation and just generally made for a more pleasant work environment.
ReplyDeleteSadly, the other thing I learned about relationships is the folks who are my greatest advocates aren't necessarily the ones who look like me. Early in my career I expected those who faced the same struggles as women, people of color, Christians in the workplace to understand the challenges we face and want to help me overcome. Not so. I learned not to limit myself to the familiar and not to place limitations on other people.
As I sit here, unemployed and wondering what the future holds...I really wish someone told me to "follow the money" instead of "follow your dreams" I was taught to do what I want...that its more important to be happy than rich...however, I do believe that....But it seems that I can be happy when I am older...but at the ripe old age of 24, it seems more important to me to have a job that I hate than to not have a job at all...Maybe I should have done accounting, teaching, or nursing..instead of communications & marketing.(or maybe not!!) But the paths we take in life are not by chance, but is a part of our destiny. Sometimes you have to walk on the rocky, dirt roads to appreciate the nicely paved ones (my own little metaphor right there). So yes I am unemployed now and doing contract work here and there..However I will be teaching English in Thailand in the Fall...and I probably wouldn't have that opportunity unless I was laid off from my job.
ReplyDeleteI also wish I had understood the value of maintaining relationships with the professionals inwhich I have crossed paths with throughout my life...But I guess I can start now. Super excited about going to Thailand...maybe I should start a blog.. Hi Denise! :)
I wish I had known that when people in the workplace say they're being authentic, they're being authentic in their "work-self" persona. This persona is riddled with ambition and agendas that engages with your authenticity to fullfill it's own program. I also wish I had known what emotional vampires were before I encountered them in a dark cave. Lesson to be learned: emotional vampires are people who are constantly seeking to explore your feelings and emotional self as a way of feeding the emptiness they experience. Alas, now I know better.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had accepted that smart cookie as I was when I entered the work world; I did not know everything and had not been sent as the come Messiah to save my organization. I wish I had listened more to the abundant organizational wisdom that was just waiting there for me to avail myself. I wish I had taken the time to really find out what I needed in a job to feel satisfied and fulfilled; and having answered that question, prepared myself adequately to go forth boldly and ENJOY!!!
ReplyDeleteRight out of high school I studied and pursued what I thought was my childhood passion. Turned out it wasn't at that time. I didn't waste too much time lamenting. I left that career after three years and tried a variety of positions for the next ten years that were easy for me but didn't light a fire in my soul.
Then I took the time to really meet myself and discovered what moved me and I found it's not tied to just one particular career path. Since then (11 years ago) I have had 2 jobs; one for a year and the other for the past 10. The first I would have done for free. The current one I would have done for free... maybe the first year. I know that I may walk away from my current position in a few years and may go into another career that at first glance may appear to be different from what I currently do and enjoy. The common theme is that anything that I would willingly choose to give effort, time and energy to has to align with my core values; satisfy my need to care for and help others; pay decent wages and not require me to compromise ethics. I have about 20 more years to work and I am excited about the idea of continuing to do something I love doing.
I would advise any young person entering the work force to take the time to know yourself. Discover what moves you and makes your soul sing. Then find the job that provides as much of that for you as possible. My next piece of advise: don't be afraid to move on - very quickly - if you find that what you thought would make your soul sing, doesn't.
I am back here again. I am ready to now give back much more than I have been giving over time. It is all about finding the right cause--near and dear to one's heart. It is so easy to write the checks to the church and the different charities and let someone else decide how and when your passion is executed. I am ready to take charge and do it myself.
ReplyDelete