Acknowledge your Grit!

From my research into the lived experiences of women leaders, there emerged numerous stories of tenacity, perseverance, and a certain 'stick-to-itiveness'. One woman in particular, to whom I will refer as Michele, stands out even as I recall her story of losing her lavish home, her marriage, and all the trappings that financial success had provided. She sunk to the depths of homelessness after losing every material possession, and was left to live in her car. Although Michele's homelessness was the consequence of her husband's destructive behavior, she alone was left to pick up the pieces of her own life. I was intrigued by Michele's story of resilience, perseverance, and grit as she worked her way back to a career in the C-suite, which is where I met her. I keep returning to the concept of grit whenever I consider how persons like Michele and so many others (including you reading this right now); who experience unexpected adversity and setbacks, manage to bounce back and possibly achieve a goal equal to, or possibly greater, or more satisfying than one they had before?

Individuals like ballerina Misty Copeland, Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen, and Dr. Angela Lee Duckworth might suggest that Michele possesses grit.

In her message to the 2014 graduates at NYU, Chair Janet Yellen told her audience that grit and passion might matter more than sheer ability. Misty Copelnad attributed her ability to thrive in the competitive world of ballet to the grit she developed from her own childhood experiences.

Grit consists of a combination of persistence or stick-to-itivness, passion, tenacity or the willingness to find new ways to move forward whenever one encounters a roadblock that results in a setback.

In her TED Talk, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Duckworth describes grit as "passion and perseverance for very long-term goals". Grit is that quality that drives a person who has experienced failures too many to count, to try again and again to find a way forward. According to Duckworth, grit is not the only thing, yet it is a key factor in a person's success. From her research, Duckworth also notes that persons with grit also possess the following behaviors:

• A deep passion and unfailing interest in what they are doing;
• A drive to take steps toward their goal and in so doing, build mastery;
• A view that their goal will benefit others, not only themselves; and
• Hope - which allows them to persevere when the future appears bleak.

In my experience as an executive coach of current and aspiring leaders, I have come to realize that although many persons demonstrate grit several times in life, whenever there is a challenge or setback, it appears to be more difficult to acknowledge or remember that we possess this quality. Grit is reflected in the attitude or commitment to not give up and always keep trying. Grit is an innate quality we use to get through unexpected transitions. Whether experiencing an unrelenting desire to pursue a lifelong dream; or dealing with personal crises, career upheavals, financial tremors, or any issue that demands tenacious focus, I urge us all to acknowledge our grit. Acknowledge that fortitude and unstoppable determination that we have relied on at one time or another. The energy this requires might sometimes seem to waver, and yet, I urge that we acknowledge this quality that is in us, which will fuel our drive toward our goal. For added effect, let us also surround ourselves with persons who will remind us that we indeed possess grit.

Dr. Denise Williams is an experienced Coach and OD Consultant who uses a whole-person approach to help employees improve their performance and overall effectiveness while achieving goals.

Make that Change....

Some years ago when the news announced that Michael Jackson had died, my friend's 13 year-old daughter gathered with her 13-year old friends to hold a vigil.  Blasting from someone's computer was the song "Man in the Mirror".  I wondered to myself, what did these babies know about Michael Jackson or his songs.  They were dancing like performers to an imaginary concert audience and their voices seemed to multiply when they belted out the chorus, "I'm starting with the girl in the mirror," they improvised as they pointed at the invisible mirror, "I'm asking her to make that change... oh yeah!"

As I think about the importance of those lyrics, I am aware that we have the power to make a change in our lives by the story we tell about ourselves...and by the narrative we create.  Just like any story, we have to have a start.  As a child, if you were like me, when I read a story that started "Once upon a time..." I looked forward to being taken on a ride with a good ending.  I just love a good story.

So how about our own story?  How does it begin?  The story that will lead you down a life-giving path.  If you want to make a change, it doesn't really matter what your story used to be, today we can make that change, if necessary, and create a new narrative.

Often I have to stand in front of a group and speak in a way that is engaging and holds the audience's attention.  Yet each and every time, for a long time, as the butterflies raged, I would tell myself a story that I would bomb before my audience.  It was a story that made me sick, until one day I realized that while I had been preparing a stellar content, I was also telling my mind I would bomb. I was sending a message to myself that my preparation was not enough, thus the butterflies. Why hadn't I created a better, richer, more life-enhancing story for myself?  Why didn't I at least change my words? One thing I could have said, "I'm off to deliver a well-prepared message."  Yeah!!

Now, after having practised for a while, whenever I stand before an audience, even if I feel the butterflies beginning to call out to me, I remind myself that I have prepared and it will be well.  I have a new habit... it is a habit of telling myself a new story.  A true story.  A story that creates a more accurate and a more helpful narrative for myself.  Yes, why not?

We each could start that habit today.  It does not matter what you have ever told yourself before, today you can make that change.  Today you can create a new story by first changing your thoughts about yourself and what is possible for you. "I have prepared, it will be well"  That is the start of one of my stories... what is the start of yours?

We've got to make that change!!

Malala Yousafzai embodies grace and shows us her inner winner.

When I heard Malala Yousafzai address the UN, I knew I was witnessing greatness.  This young Pakistani took up the mantle of defending equal access to education when she was 11 years old. She is changing the narrative of what is possible for young girls in Pakistan ... all in the face of the Taliban trying to deny them an education.  Malala and her family were living in Pakistan when the Taliban had issued an edict in 2009 banning all girls from school. Malala was writing anonymously in a blog for the BBC at the time, and pursuing the education that was valuable to her.  It was in her pursuit of an education at 15 years old, that she was shot in her head. To hear this young lady speak inspires me beyond words.... Malala has tapped her inner winner.  Proud!!